I’ve only been in the corporate world for six years, so when I gave birth to my first two children, I never experienced having to file for Maternity Leave.
This year was a first.
I was all excited to be able to take a break and spend 2 entire months at home with my kids! But little did I know that 60 days was not enough. Time just went by too fast. I wanted to cry… And in fact, I did.
Stepping out for an hour or two is so different from actually having to spend the day without my baby who was only 8 weeks old! I felt like I was leaving home without a part of me 🙁 It was so strange. I was sad.
Monday morning came, August 1st.. I packed my pump, some bottles, my little cooler with ice packs… And off to work I went.
Thank God for family- my mom, especially.. You know when your babies are this little you don’t want to leave them with just anyone… Somehow when there’s family around, you’re more at ease. So, thanks MOM!
To be honest, there are countless times I want to just quit. But I don’t want to make such a drastic decision because I might just be emotional. At the same time, I don’t want to rely on my husband for everything- I want to do things on my own too. I think that’s the independent side of me speaking.
I keep thinking, if other moms can do it then so can I. I am so blessed to have an awesome job and career, one which I sincerely enjoy… And to give it all up might be a mistake. Forgive me for being so blunt- This is just how I feel.
How I’m coping? Taking it one day at a time. One hour at a time. Literally. I call up my house every so often to check if he’s sleeping, if he’s drinking well, and believe it or not, even if he pooped… First two weeks everything was normal.. But only about 4 days ago he started to get into this fit whenever I’d leave home ! He doesn’t drink so much anymore and cries ’till i get home. Waaaaaah! HOWWW?! Torture.
When my husband gets home from work, Max calms down for a bit but before you know it He looks for me again. You know how I know that? Because as soon as I get home, and he sees me. He stops crying! Immediately. Then looks for my breast 🙁
Oh boy. That’s why this 2 month maternity leave seriously needs an upgrade. (Thank you Senator Pia Cayetano & Manny Pacquiao for the 100 day maternity leave benefit! I really hope it becomes a law soon! )
Since this is a FIRST for me, I need your help this time. Moms, how did you cope? Please share your thoughts with me..either comment below or send a message on Instagram @mikaelamartinez. Can’t wait to hear from you!
Photography: Newborn Stories by The Picture Company @tpcnewbornstories